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You lead advisers who carry other people's worries
CPA Australia has said that regulatory burden has demoralised advisers, with many leaving businesses they built. Many advisers work in small practices, carrying their clients' fears about money with few colleagues to share the weight.
If you lead advisers, some of the loneliest people in your network may be the ones who look most capable.
What this means for you
- Check in with advisers in small or regional practices, and ask how they are really going.
- Create regular peer conversations about difficult client situations.
- Notice when a reliable adviser goes quiet.
You spend your week between stores
Area managers spend long days driving between stores, and store teams carry hard experiences. In the SDA's 2025 survey, 34% of members did not feel safe at work and 60% wanted more follow-up from their managers.
Loneliness in retail can sit on both sides of a store visit. It can affect the area manager who is always on the move, and the team member who was abused last week and has not been asked how they are.
What this means for you
- Ask store managers how they are before you ask about sales.
- Follow up with staff after an incident, in person where you can.
- Find a fellow area manager to talk with each week.
You lead people who look after everyone else
In the RACGP's Health of the Nation 2025 report, 69% of GPs reported burnout. In aged care, 43% of direct care workers were born overseas, and many work far from their own families in a sector that is short of staff.
People who care for others for a living are often the last to say they are struggling.
What this means for you
- Ask clinicians and carers how they are, and make time for the answer.
- Pay attention to staff who are far from family, especially around holidays.
- Make support easy to reach and normal to use.
You lead teams that mostly talk through tickets
Gallup's State of the Global Workplace 2026 found that 22% of employees worldwide felt lonely for a lot of the previous day, rising to 24% for fully remote and hybrid workers. Engineering and sourcing teams often work across time zones and screens, and much of their conversation happens in tickets and messages.
As agents take on more of the routine back-and-forth, the human conversations that remain carry more weight.
What this means for you
- Keep some team time that has nothing to do with tickets.
- Notice who has stopped speaking in meetings.
- Pair people on hard problems, even when an agent could help one person alone.
You lead crews who keep things to themselves
Construction workers in Australia die by suicide at about twice the rate of other employed men, and are five to six times more likely to die by suicide than in an onsite incident, according to University of Melbourne research. Peer programs such as MATES in Construction have helped bring the rate down, as Consult Australia reports.
Electricians and installers work long hours, often alone on site or in the van. The mate who seems fine may be the one who needs someone to ask. If you or someone you work with is struggling, Lifeline is available on 13 11 14, and in an emergency call 000.
What this means for you
- Ask your crew how they are going, and mean it.
- Make help easy to find, including MATES in Construction and Lifeline on 13 11 14.
- Watch for changes in someone who is usually reliable.
What it looked like for me
From the outside, 2025 looked like a good year at work. Alongside it I was dealing with a cancer diagnosis (I will be here for a long time yet), a lot of time on planes and a loneliness I had not expected. I spent a lot of energy closing the gap between how I actually felt and the leader my team needed me to be.
I doubt I was unusual. Leadership often asks us to show up with optimism and consistency whatever is happening at home. We become what the team needs: calm when things are uncertain, decisive when they are unclear, useful under pressure. Sometimes that is necessary. Over time it can become a mask.
The people who most need someone to check in are often very good at looking fine.
How common it is
More common than most teams would guess. Gallup’s State of the Global Workplace data has 22% of employees worldwide saying they felt lonely for a lot of the previous day, up from 20% two years earlier.
In a team of ten, that is about two people. Some of them will be the colleagues who seem to be coping best.
The small moments that went missing
Hybrid work has given many people flexibility, autonomy and room to breathe. It has also removed some of the small moments that held teams together: the walk back from a meeting, the comment over the coffee machine, the colleague who says, “You seemed a bit off today. Everything alright?”
The old office had its share of lonely people, so going back to desks will not fix this on its own. What helps is smaller and more personal: someone who notices, makes time and follows up.
Technology adds another layer. We have more channels, messages, dashboards and AI summaries than ever. They move instructions around quickly, and they do little by themselves to help people understand each other. When I wrote about my own year, I called the risk becoming “efficiently isolated”: productive and responsive, and less able to argue, imagine and build things together.
What you can do
R U OK? sets out four steps: ask, listen, encourage action and check in. In practice that looks like this.
- Ask properly. A “you good?” on the way past rarely gets an honest answer. Try, “You’ve seemed a bit stretched lately. How are you really going?”
- Make honesty easy. If they say “I’m fine”, leave the door open: “No pressure, but I’m here if that changes.”
- Listen before you fix. Most people need some space and a fair hearing more than a plan.
- Encourage action if they are struggling. That might be a GP, an employee assistance program, their manager or someone they trust.
- Check in again. The second conversation is often the one that matters.
What leaders can do
Leaders can make connection part of how a team runs. Notice who is drifting to the edges. Build team habits that give quieter people a way in. Treat belonging as part of how the team gets things done.
It also means being honest about our own masks. People do not need their leaders to fall apart in front of them. They do need leaders who make it safe to be human at work. Writing about my own year was my attempt at that.
R U OK? Day comes once a year. The better measure is whether someone, at the moment they most need it, trusts the people around them enough to tell the truth. Take care of each other.
If you or someone you know needs support, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. In an emergency, call 000.
Call one adviser you have not spoken to properly in months. Ask how they are, and listen to the whole answer.
On your next visit, ask one team member how they are going, and wait for the real answer.
At your next team huddle, ask one person how they are going, and follow up with them the next day.
Book a call with one team member this week with no agenda except asking how they are.
At the next toolbox meeting, take two minutes to talk about mental health, and tell the crew where to get help.
Questions readers ask
What do I say if someone says they're not OK?
Listen without rushing to fix it. Then encourage them to take a next step, such as seeing a GP, using an employee assistance program, or talking to their manager or someone they trust. If you think they are at risk, call Lifeline on 13 11 14, or 000 in an emergency.
Is hybrid work making loneliness worse?
It has thinned out some of the small moments that connected teams, and plenty of people were lonely in the office too. Deliberate connection helps in either setting.
What can a leader change?
Notice who is drifting to the edges, build team habits that give quieter people a way in, and show that it is safe to be human at work, including about your own load.
Sources
- State of the Global Workplace: Global Data Summary, Gallup, 2026
- R U OK? A conversation could change a life, R U OK?, Accessed October 2026
The views here are my own, not those of my employer or its clients.